We were standing in church singing the other day. Unfortunately, I knew the song well enough that my mind was wandering. Actually, more than wandering, I was wishing, even more, desiring. Desiring to the point of envy. I thought our church needed a great or even good tenor to belt out the tune so the meek and mild would follow. I was desirous to be that tenor, having everyone look upon and follow me down the stanzas.
Now, my voice isn’t very good. It’s strong. Strong when I’m on all the wrong notes. I do well on the flats and sharps in music that doesn’t have any.
I remember a little church years back that we attended. One Sunday morning, from way in the back, (about 5 rows in our small congregation) a new and strange tenor voice echoed off the walls. Man, did that sound great. Later, to my surprise, I learned that some of the congregation knew this young man as a former youth member, who was now returning to the area. Quickly he assimilated himself into the church and heart of one of our young ladies. Marriage and family ensued, but alas, it turned, not to be the happily ever after story. He left the church, marriage and family behind, to pursue more perverse avenues.
Why is it, that ideas jump into your head? Ideas you shouldn’t have. Here I am an aging man, wishing, after all these years to be something I’m not, I should know better. Luckily, that particular song ended, as did my thoughts of being a great tenor. I came back to the reality of being who or what I am.