Raymond

Post # 291

The sun was shining, white puffy clouds dotted the sky, a slight breeze from the northwest, touched our backs.  We were sitting on the beach, it was a double personal event, fathers day and our anniversary, forty six years.  (That’s 46 anniversaries, but only 40 as a father.)  My wife was asking if I had anything (left) on my bucket list I wanted to do.  (Just think about that question, seems very telling about our time line)  Well…….probably anything I had missed doing by now should have been done in my youth. Time or life in general for youthful things has already passed.  So I just said “no, my bucket list today just included the hope that health would let us continue enjoying the things we like to do, like sitting on the beach.”

So that question got me thinking over these forty six years, and for some unknown reason my thoughts went to sleeping.  It is strange how you can sleep normally until you get married.  Then one night you’re awakened by an apparent earthquake.  The bed is shaking, but it’s not a strong earthquake, so you just roll over and continue sleeping.   The strange thing is we began having earthquakes three or four times a week, in a area that’s not accustomed to earthquakes.  Pretty soon, I learned to just sleep through it.  Then one night I get poked in the side.  Hey! What this?  “You’re snoring”!  I quickly concluded that the earthquakes and poking in the side all related to the same thing-snoring.  So, like all married men, snoring becomes an issue, albeit we NEVER discuss HER snoring, which through the years has become more prevalent!  Yep this vision was passing through my mind as we sat in the swing on the beach……but you don’t stay married forty six years by telling her what’s passing through your mind!

I was channel surfing the other night and came across an old episode of Everybody Love Raymond.  Raymond had gotten himself into a corner between his wife, parents and brother, he was attempting to fumble his way out.  He was attempting to explain to his brother the benefit of being married.   As he fumbled round, he settled on the fact that when you married you have someone to check you at night to make sure you’re still breathing!

A couple of nights ago I was asleep in bed, NOT SNORRING, when I felt this touch on my shoulder.  It wasn’t a poke, just a light touch. Pretty soon there was another…”WHAT!”  I said,” was I snoring?” My wife says “no, you weren’t breathing.”  “What?”  “Well”, she says, “you would lay for the longest time, not breathing, then suck in some air and make this strange exhale sound.”  ‘So, says I, “I was breathing, but not how you thought I should be?”  “Right”, she says.  “You’ve been watching Raymond” says I.

Well, Raymond is right, marriage is having someone check to make sure you’re still breathing, in the middle of the night,  here I thought it was just a comedy……. guess my bucket list includes the desire to just keep on breathing…..

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About tgriggs17

Retired, CPA, enjoy freshwater fishing, being with my grandchildren, friends and family
This entry was posted in Life, Medical, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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