My Pants

Post #343

How many times have I stated that we summer in the upper Midwest?  I guess a quarter of my blogs contain some related story line.  Well, my wife and I treat our existence here slightly differently.  She carts back and forth more clothes than she can wear and I usually leave everything I deem important up there other than jeans, (my most valuable commodity since retirement).

I spend a lot of time fishing, not just sitting, but standing on the bow platform and casting for 2 to 3 hours at a time, in the hot, reflective sun.  We have learned that we need something cooler than jeans to wear in the boat all day long.  NO, shorts won’t do, because the state bird is the mosquito.   If it’s not the mosquito then we are attacked by the biting black flies or horse flies.  The solution is a light weight, breathable material, which the fishing catalogs call “fishing pants”.

I learned a couple of years ago, that light weight pants was a necessity, and two pair meant that one was always available while the other was  in the dirty clothes hamper. As we were preparing to leave here last fall for home we organized our take home things and I had this thought to take a pair of fishing pants home with me, why, I no longer remember.  I spotted them this spring as we prepared our items to be packed for up north.  I put a check mark on my brain to remember to put them in the return pile.

So here I am up north, and the check the brain-remember to pack the fishing pants light bulb comes on and I ask my wife why she didn’t pack the pants?  Her response was “what pants?”  So my second pair pants sits there at home, on the hanger, 900 miles from me.  I began thinking how to get around this when I walked into the local sporting goods store which was having a big sale on fishing pants, three full racks!  Wow, what luck, my wife was with me and she said buy one, but they were all the length for an NBA center so I walked away.  When we returned to the cabin, pant-less, with my wife grumbling, well, I could borrow Tammie’s sewing machine and hem them for you.

A week later I returned to the store and picked out a pair of pants, I was lucky, two racks of pants had already disappeared!  After purchase I left them in the bag, awaiting the arrival of Tammie’s sewing machine.  Four weeks past and the machine arrives and my wife says “you need to try the pants on so I can mark them for hemming”.  Not to be too revealing, I’m sitting on the edge to the bed in my underwear holding the new pants. So I’m talking to my wife and running my hand along the top of the belt line looking for the button, you know the button above the fly (zipper).  It seems like I’ve run my hand around forever, so I start concentrating (in other words I stopped talking) on where they hid the button and this time I go around twice.  HEY!! No button!!  What is this?  So I look inside of the pants and see mesh netting, (For you ladies, men’s swim trunks have a mesh netting) unusual to see netting in pants.  So I “PULL” the pants on and note the entire top is elastic, no button and NO FLY, there’s a fake fly flap, but NO FLY!  Awkward!!!!!  So my wife hems the pants and I take scissors to the mesh netting, certainly an unnecessary accessory for me.

Now, All is right with world.  I have an extra pair of fishing pants, BUT I’m generating a picture in my mind have having to go the bathroom!!!

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About tgriggs17

Retired, CPA, enjoy freshwater fishing, being with my grandchildren, friends and family
This entry was posted in Jokes, Life, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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