The Dirty Subject

Post # 387  I must explain a little about my “habits” to relate this next story.   I do get concerned with so many differing stories about ones life style habits and health.  Now that I am “maturing”, I think more about what doctors are saying about food and things; drink less coffee, drink more coffee, eat more eggs for the omega or less eggs for the cholesterol etc. To that list lets add how much sleep you need to a. stay skinny or b. live longer…….

Well, I’m usually not a late sleeper.  I rarely take in 7 or 8 hours.  Five seems to be my usual limit or maybe four. Sure, one night out of seven or eight I’ll hit the recommended nightly amount, but usually in four or five I awake with a back ache and up I get!  For some strange reason I do rest better when we have company, something I just don’t understand.

Now pertaining to my personal habits.  Once up, I usually proceed to the bathroom for a precautionary visit and then on down to the man cave to a recliner and an electronic diversion.  Often, I find if I experience the Public TV Classic Performance program, on low volume I’m out like a light!  But usually I just find a low intelligence program to capture my attention. I may doze, but most nights I stay awake.

On this particular morning I arose at my usual 3:45, proceeded on to my precautionary prevention but noted that the floor contained some foreign misplaced objects.  Attempting to focus my sight I realized that the objects were the remains of ones muddy shoe.  Interesting!!  My wife had recently thoroughly cleaned this confined area, so, from whence did this come?????? I tried to think back, remember it’s 3:45, now progressing to 3:50 AM, nope we were gone most of yesterday, and I don’t remember seeing his here earlier, (as in the night before).  Wonder where my wife has been.  I tried to recall the time time line between her cleaning this area and my walking in the woods and reentering here……but couldn’t bring it into focus.  Nope, not me!  So, I left it for my wife to see, maybe she could determine the order of events that left it there…….

Now, to continue with our habits; I prepare our breakfast nearly every morning.  Being awake so early I have plenty of time to consider the menu.  I like to rotate through five or six different offerings.  However, of late, my wife has settled on one as her jump (chuckle-if you believe that) out of bed favorite, that’s my preparation of Coffee, Juice, Toast with peanut butter and jelly.  On this particular morning as we were enjoying our gourmet breakfast, my wife turns to me and says, “did you see that dirt on the floor in the bathroom?”  Yes, I said.  She continues, “wonder where it came from?”.  We proceeded into a five minute discussion about the dirt, which accomplice (shoe) could have been the culprit thus singling out the perpetrator of the dirt.  Upon investigation, between sips of coffee, it appeared that one of MY pairs of shoes could have left the particular shaped deposit on the floor.   But we couldn’t identify the time it occurred without our seeing it previously.

There was a pause, and my wife says, “I cleaned it up”!  Pooling all my married years of knowledge together……………I chose to be quite.  But, she decided to continue………”Why didn’t you clean it up???????”    There it was, once the perpetrator shoe could be identified, the accusation of the guilty party could be made!

My mind whirled, I said, ” I thought if I had cleaned it up, we wouldn’t have had anything to talk about at breakfast!!”

The plight of the long time married couple, whose breakfast time conversation rests on Dirty Subjects!


About tgriggs17

Son, Husband, Father, Retired, CPA, enjoy freshwater fishing, dotes over the grandchildren, enjoys friends.
This entry was posted in Life, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Dirty Subject

  1. Tammie Olson says:

    You left it for her to see?!!!!!! Dude, this is the world of technology. You could of taken a snapshopandchatted about it AND cleaned it up all before breakfast. You opened yourself up wide for this dialog. hahahahahahahahaha

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